Written by Jessica edits by Anne
If you’re a frequent flyer, you’ve definitely met and dealt with all kinds of interesting individuals and maybe, if you’re truly lucky, gotten to know them just a little too personally then you intended on your four-hour flight to Pheonix, AZ. But, if you’re new to flying, get ready, because there are a few people you just might unexpectedly meet.
The Midwestern Mom: “Shelly”
Shelly is about 50 years old, yet it’s her first time on a plane. She is so proud of her kids, and boy does she want you to know. She probably has 2.5 of them and she lives with her accountant husband, who she has been married for 28 years. She has every story under the sun about her family, not too many about herself. She doesn’t ask you too many questions since she is the talker. She hasn’t picked up the fact that you have to watch the same scene 5 times, trying to focus on both her yapping and the movie.
The bro: “Kyle”
Kyle is a 22-year-old college student, who loves his frat boys more than anything. He spends the entire flight on his phone even paying extra to get the wifi. When you see his phone, you see Jessica, Rachel, Sarah, Allison; all the girls he happens to be talking to at the moment. He constantly has his headphones on, way too loud, playing the newest Post-Malone song.
The crying child: “Claire”
Claire, age 2, boards the plane, crying. Every person groans and prays that she doesn’t sit by them. Of course, you happen to get lucky and her spot is right next to yours. You feel terrible for not wanting to sit by her, seeing that she probably is sick with the flu or an earache, but can’t help feeling that this proves the crappy luck you have. She continues to cry for the rest of the flight, the parents apologizing every minute while assuring them that it’s okay.
The armrest hog: “John”
John, 45, for whatever reason, needs space, and lots of it. How does John let you know he needs space? By immediately hogging the armrests with his pointy elbows facing outward. Usually “John” sits in the middle, and we get it, the middle seat sucks, but you don’t really need to assert yourself so much that you hog both the armrests and spread your legs out wide. Even if you had one of your arms on the armrest when you first sat down, John will likely take it away from you – he’s not much of a sharer. Also, be warned, he may awkwardly lean into your space once or twice.
The perfect seatmate: “Anne”
Anne 23, understands that you just want some peace and quiet, allowing you to sleep or watch a movie or whatever else you want. She tends to keep to herself except for the two times she has to pee, where she asks very kindly to get through. She tends to sleep without snoring and while managing to stay in her own seat. Her noise-canceling headphones ensure that you have your privacy and comfort. She happens to be the perfect person to sit next to on the plane, but you are likely to find one on your flight, let alone sit by one. For those of you who do, congrats. You have just guaranteed a great flight without disturbance.
Travel by the Book 